Thunder Bay Woman Meltdown on CBC’s Dragon’s Den
THUNDER BAY, ON — In a record-setting outburst, Thunder Bay’s own Deborah Wilson became an unlikely viral sensation after her recent catastrophic appearance on CBC’s Dragon’s Den. The 34-year-old “self-proclaimed entrepreneur” pitched her idea for “Beaver Bits,” a snack allegedly inspired by authentic Northern Ontario cuisine that she described as “poutine, if poutine was from beavers,” but was swiftly shut down by all five Dragons within just 43 seconds.
Eyewitnesses say Wilson’s face turned beet-red as the Dragons delicately attempted to explain the myriad regulatory, ethical, and health-related concerns surrounding her “product.” Instead of accepting defeat, Wilson unleashed a profanity-ridden tirade that included phrases like “pompous Toronto sellouts,” “ivory tower snack snobs,” and “you wouldn’t know a good beaver if it chewed your face off.” In a climactic moment, Wilson allegedly pointed at Dragon’s Den mainstay Arlene Dickinson and screamed, “When was the last time you even saw a beaver?”
International news outlets quickly picked up on the story, marvelling at Wilson’s complete lack of self-awareness, business acumen, and basic Canadian politeness. Social media erupted, with clips of her meltdown reaching viral status. Thunder Bay residents, however, remain largely unfazed. “That’s just Deb,” commented neighbour Ron Campbell, shrugging. “She’s always got some new ‘beaver-themed’ scheme up her sleeve. Last year, she tried to sell ‘beaver yoga.’”
Despite public backlash, Wilson is standing by her business model and plans to sell Beaver Bits online, proudly advertising that they’re “Not even close to poutine, and no Dragons allowed.”