Thunder Bay Welcomes New Barbershop Exclusively for Seattle Kraken Fans
THUNDER BAY, ON — In a bold move for the local business scene, a new barbershop catering exclusively to Seattle Kraken fans has opened its doors this week, offering a unique blend of haircuts and hockey elitism. Dubbed “Kraken Cuts,” the shop requires potential customers to demonstrate their loyalty and “elegance” for the NHL’s youngest team before earning a seat in the barber’s chair. Fans of other sports teams? Not even allowed in the building.
“This isn’t just a barbershop; it’s a lifestyle choice,” said owner Dave Manson, himself a Thunder Bay native who discovered his passion for the Kraken during a layover in Seattle. “We’re tired of seeing Maple Leafs, Canadiens, and Bruins fans hogging the city’s barbers. Kraken fans deserve a place of their own—a place where they can show their pride without judgment.”
As part of the strict admissions process, prospective patrons must showcase their knowledge of Seattle Kraken history, recite the name of their current captain, and display an outfit “befitting a true Kraken devotee.” Those sporting Seattle-inspired nautical tattoos are awarded immediate access to a premium haircut package.
The business model has received enthusiastic support from Thunder Bay Mayor Ken Boshcoff and the local Chamber of Commerce, who claim it will bring “a fresh, unconventional identity” to the city. “If you’re Kraken material, you’ll fit right in,” said Boshcoff. “If not, there’s always somewhere else for you in Thunder Bay.”
Kraken Cuts, which plans to expand with a line of Seattle Kraken-themed beard oils, has already booked appointments through today.