Thunder Bay Restaurant DQ’d from Novemburger
THUNDER BAY, ON — A local burger hotspot has been officially disqualified from Thunder Bay’s annual Novemburger charity campaign after event organizers determined the restaurant was “contributing an unreasonable amount” per burger to the cause.
The restaurant in question, known for its towering “Charitable Meatasaur” burger, reportedly raised suspicions among Novemburger officials after it committed to donating $5 for every burger sold. This amount, significantly higher than the campaign’s suggested $2 donation per burger, was deemed by organizers to be an “overwhelmingly generous” move that could pressure other restaurants to increase their charitable giving to similarly “reckless” levels.
“It’s simply not fair to the other participants,” explained a Novemburger organizer, speaking from an office over a large stack of unsold Novemburger T-shirts. “This specific restaurant’s aggressive over-donating creates an unfair advantage in what is supposed to be a level playing field for burger enthusiasts. The point is to give just enough to make customers feel good without ruining the delicate balance between charity and profit. By overdoing it, this specific burger establishment was essentially bribing customers with excessive goodness.”
In a statement released this week, the burger hotspot’s owner expressed his disappointment. “We just wanted to help raise as much as we could for local charities. Who knew that doing more than the minimum would be controversial?” The owner, whose restaurant raised nearly $10,000 in a single weekend, is considering a separate burger drive in December that he is tentatively calling Decemburger. “This time, we’ll try to ‘chill out’ on the generosity, I guess.”
Some local residents were divided over the decision. “It’s absurd,” said one patron. “Who punishes someone for donating too much?” Meanwhile, another diner, who also requested anonymity, speculated, “Honestly, it just felt like they were trying too hard. They put half a pig and truffle mayo on a burger—how am I supposed to compete with that?”
Despite the disqualification, said burger establishment continues to offer the Charitable Meatasaur with the $5 donation intact, calling it “Novemburger-ish.” As for the future, organizers confirmed that next year’s Novemburger will introduce stricter guidelines, including a cap on altruism. “We’re just trying to make sure everyone plays fair in the charitable ring,” the organizer said.