The Hunger 17th Edition Considers Going ‘Family Friendly’

THUNDER BAY, ON — In a move that’s sparking outrage from the city’s most ardent partygoers, organizers of The Hunger—the annual Halloween event known for its wild costumes and even wilder behaviour—are considering making this year’s edition “family friendly.”

Scheduled for Saturday, October 26th, the 17th edition of the downtown-wide celebration, which boasts over 3,000 annual attendees, is encouraging parents to bring their toddlers to all venues. The plan? To show off cute costumes and “rein in” the adults-only madness. However, some are concerned the shift might just ruin Halloween’s entire reason for existing: providing a no-holds-barred night for Thunder Bay’s single people to hook up.

“We just thought it was time for a change,” explained Kelly Marcus, one of the lead organizers, as she swatted away a Styrofoam tombstone from last year’s party that still hadn’t been cleaned up. “We’ve always attracted a diverse crowd, but this year we want to really lean into the spirit of community. What better way to do that than to have families join in the fun?”

Marcus gestured toward a crayon drawing of a jack-o-lantern stuck to the wall of The Foundry, one of the event’s most popular venues. “Who wouldn’t want to see a two-year-old dressed as Baby Yoda waddling between people in questionable sexy nurse costumes? It’s adorable and sends the message that Halloween isn’t just for getting plastered and waking up with regrets anymore.”

That’s exactly what some local teens think might be the problem.

“I wait all year for The Hunger, and now they’re turning it into The Nap or something,” grumbled Ethan Wylie, 19, who had already planned out his “Zombie Viking with Eight-Pack Abs” costume. “Like, do you really think anyone’s going to hit on you when there’s a toddler next to you eating candy corn and throwing up on the dance floor? This is Halloween, not some kind of baby photo-op.”

Outrage over the “family-friendly” shift has grown louder since the announcement hit social media. Many claim that encouraging toddlers at Thunder Bay’s most notorious Halloween event is, at best, misguided, and at worst, a total betrayal of the debauchery that defines it.

“It’s a slippery slope,” Wylie continued, visibly distressed. “First it’s babies at the party, then they’ll start banning sexy costumes, and next thing you know, Halloween will just be about ‘the joy of spending time with family.’”

To make matters worse, the venues themselves—ranging from Black Pirates Pub to The Sovereign Room—have been instructed to accommodate young trick-or-treaters alongside their regular clientele. Sources say these accommodations include replacing blood-red jello shots with “vampire juice” (aka, Kool-Aid) and possibly even setting up a bouncy castle inside their establishments.

But while teens are fuming, some locals without children or a date to scare up aren’t entirely opposed.

“I don’t see the big deal,” shrugged Darryl McPhee, a 32-year-old Thunder Bay bachelor who regularly attends The Hunger alone. “Honestly, the crowd’s been getting younger every year anyway, so it’s not like my chances of finding anyone over 25 weren’t already pretty slim. Maybe a few toddlers running around will make the singles scene more tolerable.”

McPhee paused, squinting as he examined his store-bought pirate hat. “Plus, parents are always tired. Might actually make for some decent conversation.”

Still, despite some attempts at a positive spin, most veterans of The Hunger aren’t convinced that replacing latex-clad revelers with exhausted parents holding sticky sippy cups is the future anyone asked for.

“I’m not dressing up as a vampire for the fifth year in a row to impress someone’s kid,” added Wylie, voice cracking slightly. “If I wanted a family-friendly Halloween, I’d stay home and watch The Great Pumpkin.”

At press time, organizers were doubling down on their efforts to bring together Thunder Bay’s diverse community of partygoers, parents, and toddlers, while promising that all events would still be “moderately spooky.” How they plan to balance a DJ blasting trap music next to a bouncy castle full of costumed toddlers remains to be seen.